TREE ISLAND -- Oh brother. First Red was leaving Utopia. Then Dave talked him down. Then he woke up this morning convinced once more that yes, it was time to go.
...THEN, burnt out by Mike’s civics lesson and wondering just what his future here looks like, Red got the brightest idea this “Hillbilly MacGyver” has ever had (in Utopia): secession.
Yes, four days in, there is already a separatist faction in Utopia.
Forgoing the snappier “Red’s State,” this new government -- co-founded by Dave -- will be called “The Utopia State of Freedom” and be open to all the cool stuff those squares in Utopia Classic are too busy trying to micromanage. Why should you join the brand-new USF?
- You’ll be “honoring the original Utopia federal law” (agreed on earlier on Day 4, natch) while striking out on your own, free to use the 1/15th of Utopian resources you’re entitled to.
- Like gardening but have no use for garden aesthetics? This is the government for you! USF will mow down those “pretty plants” to make room for functional agriculture.
- Chess, presumably! Utopia Classic seemed pretty burnt out on Dave’s special obsession, but not USF.
- Pot smoking, all day long if that’s your thing. Remember, there are (almost) no rules in USF!
- Usage of all communal infrastructure like electricity (pending) and plumbing (pending), minus any farm animal care responsibility. Leave the eggs and milk, absolutely, but keep those udders away from USF.
Who’s to say when the Utopia State of Freedom really takes off, or how long it lasts? We can’t know these things, at least not yet. But we are just PUMPED to see this ridiculous saga unfold!
UTOPIA. It’s always on. Jump into the live streams, or get the app.
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